Vision and Self-Esteem
YOU ARE welcome to this week edition of Leading Right. Happy Easter to you as we celebrate the resurrection of the world’s most self-confident men. I am Abiodun Fijabi.
You are a middle-aged woman with achievements that belie your age and lots and lots of promise. You are a prolific professor of literature in a reputable university. You are in all the Who is Who’s of your profession. When you speak, people listen; when you write, people want to read. You are a celebrity and you know it. You should be happy; shouldn’t you? Yes?
Well, no. At least, for Rose, played by Barbra Streisand in the epic romantic comedy movie nominated for two 1996 Academy awards – The Mirror has two faces. Rose has everything going on for her except for her looks. Rose looks in the mirror every morning and sees not the ebullient professor, but a plain, plumb, unattractive and desperate woman. Her hair is a disaster and a fitting complement to her general uninspiring look. Her clothes are Victorian, reminding you of centuries gone by.
Before you condemn Rose for having such a low self-opinion about her looks, think of these. Your only sibling, a younger sister, is a smashing beauty, sought after by many men. Your mom is a seventy plus widow and still dating. Once you have a man you are dating invited to your home, something very rare. The man sets his eyes on your sister and that’s the end. He runs off with your sister and they are married. They even have the effrontery to ask you to be their maid of honour at their wedding! Imagine that. Mom never says directly that you are ugly, but it is implied in her every statement. And even much more in her gestures. You were told as a baby to use your fore finger to push up your nose less it drooped. Immediately, you concluded your nose was not well crafted by the creator. He must have dosed off while creating you. Little wonder, you are uninspiring. Sandwiched between these two most important women in your life, your chances of a healthy opinion about yourself are slim.
In many ways we are like Rose. There are things about ourselves we are not satisfied with. Especially those things that we cannot change. Like the circumstances of our birth and our physical characteristics. We wish we had been born with a golden spoon in our mouths. We wish we had gone to an elitist school. We wish we had studied abroad. Some wish they had been born in another country. We wish we were younger than our current ages. We think of ourselves as unattractive. We complain of the big eyeballs. I am too dark, some will say.
With this poor opinion about yourself, you can hardly take on a vision of monumental proportion. You will be content with a mediocre achievement. But it does not have to be so. Great leaders have emerged from every disadvantage you can imagine. Chief Awolowo of Nigeria used the platform of his poor background to see himself through school and a disciplined life that prepared him for exemplary leadership. Roosevelt was physically handicapped but that did not stop him from becoming an American President. Abraham Lincoln was regarded by many as awkward and uninspiring. He failed at several attempts at elective office but he is today regarded as one of the best presidents America has ever had.
The rule is simple. Accept and be grateful to God for that which you cannot change about yourself. Starting from this disadvantage, dare to dream big for yourself and the society. Your disadvantage needs not be a limitation but a launching pad into a great future for you and for those around you. No disadvantage is n reality a limitation until you
You are a middle-aged woman with achievements that belie your age and lots and lots of promise. You are a prolific professor of literature in a reputable university. You are in all the Who is Who’s of your profession. When you speak, people listen; when you write, people want to read. You are a celebrity and you know it. You should be happy; shouldn’t you? Yes?
Well, no. At least, for Rose, played by Barbra Streisand in the epic romantic comedy movie nominated for two 1996 Academy awards – The Mirror has two faces. Rose has everything going on for her except for her looks. Rose looks in the mirror every morning and sees not the ebullient professor, but a plain, plumb, unattractive and desperate woman. Her hair is a disaster and a fitting complement to her general uninspiring look. Her clothes are Victorian, reminding you of centuries gone by.
Before you condemn Rose for having such a low self-opinion about her looks, think of these. Your only sibling, a younger sister, is a smashing beauty, sought after by many men. Your mom is a seventy plus widow and still dating. Once you have a man you are dating invited to your home, something very rare. The man sets his eyes on your sister and that’s the end. He runs off with your sister and they are married. They even have the effrontery to ask you to be their maid of honour at their wedding! Imagine that. Mom never says directly that you are ugly, but it is implied in her every statement. And even much more in her gestures. You were told as a baby to use your fore finger to push up your nose less it drooped. Immediately, you concluded your nose was not well crafted by the creator. He must have dosed off while creating you. Little wonder, you are uninspiring. Sandwiched between these two most important women in your life, your chances of a healthy opinion about yourself are slim.
In many ways we are like Rose. There are things about ourselves we are not satisfied with. Especially those things that we cannot change. Like the circumstances of our birth and our physical characteristics. We wish we had been born with a golden spoon in our mouths. We wish we had gone to an elitist school. We wish we had studied abroad. Some wish they had been born in another country. We wish we were younger than our current ages. We think of ourselves as unattractive. We complain of the big eyeballs. I am too dark, some will say.
With this poor opinion about yourself, you can hardly take on a vision of monumental proportion. You will be content with a mediocre achievement. But it does not have to be so. Great leaders have emerged from every disadvantage you can imagine. Chief Awolowo of Nigeria used the platform of his poor background to see himself through school and a disciplined life that prepared him for exemplary leadership. Roosevelt was physically handicapped but that did not stop him from becoming an American President. Abraham Lincoln was regarded by many as awkward and uninspiring. He failed at several attempts at elective office but he is today regarded as one of the best presidents America has ever had.
The rule is simple. Accept and be grateful to God for that which you cannot change about yourself. Starting from this disadvantage, dare to dream big for yourself and the society. Your disadvantage needs not be a limitation but a launching pad into a great future for you and for those around you. No disadvantage is n reality a limitation until you
posted by Abiodun Fijabi at 6:46 PM
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